shitposting from starbucks on hunt club

 What am I doing out here in the suburbs (if you read the title you are confused), you may be wondering? That's nunya.

I had my first exam last week – why was it worth 60%? That feels illegal. I have said at least 4 times in the last week that any exam that is worth 50% or more should be illegal. The maximum a final exam should be worth is 49%. It is day 5 of a 8 day coffee shop bender, and I think yesterday, there was a glitch with the coffee, because I was jittery for 5 hours after drinking a 6 ounce latte. I just crushed a 16 ounce latte and the jitters have not kicked in. 

Here is the breakdown of my week: thursday was the exam. I wrote it, I called Tuuli, I drank bubble tea, I put my combination-bus-pass-student-card in the washing machine and dryer (but I didn't know yet).

Friday I went to work. I went on the city of Ottawa website and tried to find an extra-curricular activity. My top contenders are intro ballet or volleyball, or guitar... there were definitely others but sue me, I don't remember. I gossiped with my coworkers because that's what work is all about. What else did I do? No one knows. I probably played sims.

    Speaking of sims, I invented a new way to torture my sims. I made a house that is one floor, and I put it on three times speed and leave them to their own devices, and see who will survive. I survived both of the play throughs I did. Nicole died in both. Ottawa Clara was a vampire and died in the second one (by electrocution), which was tragic because she was the only one autonomously fixing the broken plumbing/ appliances. The child who lived with us (her name was Pizza Monster) died of starvation during a fire when she was a teenager. 

    The most recent one I started is me, Dan (campus character from winter 2024), Don Lothario before the revamp and Vladdy Daddy. After Vladdy died, I replaced him with Don Lothario after the revamp because LOL. They have to autonomously raise 4 children – infants, Nicole and Michael Cera and toddlers, Clara and Olive House (my spellcaster sim). They all survived their first life stage. Clara almost got taken away as a child because she wasn't doing great in school...

    And then I gave up because BORING. I went back to my legacy save which is kind of pissing me off. Poppy (the heir) has to age up to teenager so I can kill off her mother in a tragic incident (crushed by meteorite) so she has a character building moment and can proceed with her life by building it up from scratch. I want her to move in on the Watson farm because yes, she deserves a 64x64 farm estate while her spouse and their siblings work for the money (and I will ignore them and their needs because I am god and I can totally do it).

Back to my week: Saturday, I stayed home all day working on my sociology assignment. We are burdened with a group project. Everyone knows how I feel about those. I told the people in group that I could finish my part in 24 hours... it took more like 36, but it was done promptly. The girl who wrote the essay was trying to get me to write the paper, which I did not do. She asked me very politely to do the citations, so I did. Then I sent her the powerpoint, and she was like.... "uh.. we're supposed to have a recording, can you do that?" I had to tell her that it is already done and embedded into the powerpoint. The end. The third girl... idk what her story is: I have never met her. ANYWAYS. It is over now (no it is not, I still do not know whether she did her part and the assignment is due tomorrow).

Sunday I finished up my homework, played sims, watched Mr. D. (i'm awesome). I had a short visit with Nonna and then I went to my uncle's house where he gave me a bottle of expensive ice wine and said "after you finish that one, come back and take another one." A little boy named Jaiden was talking to me about fortnite for 80 minutes. I didn't know how to feel. I hid in the bathroom for many minutes, and voice recorded some new WTWG songs – 2025 is the year of WTWG fr. 

Monday, I went to Second Cup with Michelle (neighbour). This was day one of the coffee shop bender. I do not know if I did homework. I do not know how long I was there, the photo evidence I have of monday is a screenshot of what shows up on google images when you search "vladdy daddy" and then Vladdy burning to death in my sims save file.

Tuesday, I went to Happy Goat on Bank, and met Nicole there. I lost my bus pass apparently, and I was forced to pay for my bus fare with coins. It costs $3.85 to get on the bus in Ottawa, which also feels illegal. At Happy Goat, I worked on my 2024-wrapped-2025-goals powerpoint and it is SO BEAUTIFUL. I did little to no work, and I used my Trent University student card for the student discount because, like I said, I lost my combination-bus-pass-student-card. Nicole arrived, and we yapped for quite some time. There is photographic evidence of most of my tuesday, though.

I had a German oral exam on Wednesday, so I had to prepare the dialogue scripts, because that is what we were expected to do in preparation (that is what I thought). I did some bio stuff because it's me and how does one study for german class? no one knows. Nicole did not want a ticket on her car, and when we were approaching the vehicle, it appeared as if there was one. I was panicking because, what do you mean, Nicole manifested this into existence? NO. It was a bevel-cut piece of 2x4 that had writing on it. It said: "I know who scratched your car," and then the make, model, colour and license plate number. there appears to still be some good in this world. 

And then I went to work (you can tell that I remember what happened on tuesday because it is taking me three paragraphs to talk about it). My boss was like: what are you doing here? I told her that I can leave if she wants (that was not something she wanted). I was informed that there is potentially an after-party at the work Christmas party tonight... well, one girl is trying to convince the only other coworker who owns a home in the area to host an after-party. and then after work, Nicolas (my little rascal brother) came home. I said hi to him and he slammed the bathroom door, like, miss you too i guess.

Wednesday was the day of my german presentation. I had one task in the 24 hours leading up to wednesday morning, and I did not do it (I was too busy watching youtube), so I spent some time writing the rest of the scripts and then I did some crosswords. I met up with the girl I was presenting with to run through everything. Then I ate lunch. Apparently i also ate the presentation right up because I received my grade within the hour – and it was good. My prof tried to trick me by asking something we haven't learned yet... that was strange.

Then I met Clara at Second Cup (we may have walked over together, I don't remember). There is evidence that I worked on my 2024 wrapped/2025 goals powerpoint because there are screenshots of my Letterboxd and my Goodreads. I did some bio work with my textbook (I was supposed to do german homework – i did not because I don't know how to study for that class).  Wednesday night was the moment of truth when I found my bus pass in the pocket of a sweater I put through the wash. and then our family friend came over and complained about all the items he posted on Facebook Marketplace (this is relevant, I swear).

Thursday was the moment of truth when I could have used my bus pass to test it out. Instead, I begged my mom for a ride (she said no, but she made me breakfast so that was fine with me). Then Nico ended up driving me to Happy Goat on Main (Jenna and Luc's place of work – they were both there). I do not know what Jenna put in that coffee... I was jittery beyond the bounds of jitters. Clara told me to go run laps outside to get the jitters gone. I did nothing of the sorts. It was a cycle of yap, browse the EA website, do homework, tell each other to go back to work, do an online crossword. Then Nicole arrived (yapping ensues). Then Jenna and Luc got off work (yapping ensues) – the same cycle starts again. When it was time to head out, there was a snowstorm outside. Nicole – bless her heart – drove me home. How much work did I do? Not as much as I could have. 

Then my mom found our family friend's listings on Facebook Marketplace and she sent him 8 messages to different items saying all of the things he claimed to hate hearing the most – i need X for my classroom, I dont have any money.. What she said is she needs these scissors for her genius dog who is left handed. She cannot pay cash because her hubby spent it all at the peelers last night (unless you want american pennies). What a weirdo (I helped her write the messages – we were laughing SO hard).

That brings me to today. What is going on? no one knows. my life is a mystery novel and I am Nancy Drew (within reason). thank you for reading – tell your friends. 

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